K

Kanban:

  1. Jira; with columns.
  2. Gannt Chart; with sticky-notes.
  3. The 19th-century oversight by management with the new twist where the small minds and strong backs working on the shop floor do management’s job for them.
  4. The old way of tallying days in stir but with a cool, Aisian-sounding label.

KB:

  1. One thousand “B”s.
  2. Kilo Bravo: the naval semaphore for “I’m telling you right now! I’m taking charge.” If this semaphore is received from a gunship, all recommendations suggest acquiescence. If from the CIO, ignore it.
  3. Kilo Byte, roughly translated to 1,000 Bytes, but is more precisely 1,024 bytes because is it counted in a way meant to be inscrutable.
  4. At one time a very large amount of data. Currently, barely room sufficient to specify a latte order at the overpriced coffee shop.

Kernel:

  1. The smallest of all parts, found at the most innermost of all systems.
  2. In operating systems, that most-critical part of the code that should never be trusted, must always be used, and can never be overwritten — except by 13-year-olds who just hacked into your computer.

Keyboard:

  1. Unindicted co-conspirator in all your coding crimes.
  2. Proof that the 1934 Underwood typewriter still lives.
  3. Symbolic gateway to electronic communications, laid out for secretaries, used by professionals, and which must fail at the exact time the exception handler starts a ten-second countdown to the question, System Failure: Shall I save your current work?

Knowledge Base:

  1. Marketing answers to leading questions.
  2. Push polling for salesmen.
  3. All the knowledge that would be valuable if all the reader wanted was to buy the product and install it on the sandbox machine at the corporate headquarters.
  4. Where Knowledge is Power and a Base is the Lowest Part of a structure, all Knowledge Bases are the least amount of power, in the form of information, offered by the experts who know what visitors want to know, but expertly skirt in an effort to make the visitor forget the reason for the visit; or life itself.

KPI:

  1. Key Preconception Indicators
  2. Product of the data distillery where gallons of the inky black stuff found inside Magic 8-Balls are combined with the delusions and biased expectation of the sales department to produce glowing reports, but using unexpected visual gimmicks and cognitively confusing structures.
  3. Mendacity packaged in sincerity, showcased in a visual fiesta, reduced beyond information, and always feigning certainty.



A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z